Who are you to impose your advice?

Blog image of bossy looking woman shaking her finger with text saying You don't wann do it like that.
A poem by my mummy who has people give her patronising unsolicited advice because of her Asperger’s Syndrome traits!

Who are you to impose your advice?

Who are you to impose your advice?
Your ideas are naïve and your wisdom unwise.

You don’t know the full story so how can you know. So keep quiet unless I ask.

What makes you think it would be your help I’d want? I have my advisers, you don’t make the list.

You’re blind to my sight as you see only my traits and misread them.

You assume my unawareness when I’m simply uninterested.
Or… I’ve tried and learnt it’s wrong for me. And you are too blind and miss the point.

I know you have skills but when you impose them you smother them in pink marshmallow with jelly tots – give them to a child – I am not one.

Is it because you need to show people your worth and you assess me as an easy stage from which to perform them?

You should worry, I can be unpredictable.
One day I might say why I think you do it.
I might tell you why I think so one day.

So get out of my face with your amateur patronisation. If you’re going to patronise, at least be good at it!

Why don’t you do it to Jill or to John? Just because I don’t appear ‘normal’ like they, doesn’t mean I am in need of help.

Think why you do it and tell me. Else I might tell you one-day in front of everyone, why I think you impose it.

Perhaps you feel the need for power and with them you cannot.
But you assess, due to my traits that you can with me.

Do you realise now that isn’t the case? How do you feel now?

When you impose your advice it’s oppressive not helpful, when you impose advise the oppressee does not see it.

If you waited until asked, you might be an allie. But if you impose it, you risk being an oppressor. Oppressors are not wise.

So the question remains……..Who are you to impose your advice?

by Debra Schiman

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