Dear Uncle Bearsac
Please help me. My owner wants to sell me. He has acquired the knowledge I’m worth money. I thought he loved me, but it seems he only sees me through his pound-sign-eyes these days. There I was sitting on his lap in front of the telly, all comfy like, watching one of those antique programs – you know, the one with the over-tanned man? Next thing he was jumping up and down, squealing in delight, and was on the phone to an antique dealer friend of his.
Apparently, the button in my ear and my age, nearly 100, makes me worth loads of lolly. I’m in good nick, seeing as I’ve had 3 previous owners, all who loved me and could not bear to be parted from me. My current owner’s mum, granddad, and great-grandma – who owned me before – are dead now, so they cannot save me. I don’t want to leave my friends. And I would miss my owner even though I see now, he doesn’t love me.
What can I do?
Sebastian
Bearsac’s answer to Problem 5
Dear Sebastian
This is awful. Teddies are not commodities. Why can’t the humans see this?
All I can think of is to devalue yourself. Take the button out of your ear and get rid of it. That should wake your owner up.
You could try charming him by singing Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear
If, however, you do get sold, then it really may not be such a bad thing. You will make new friends, and you may have an owner who will love you for yourself, plus there are better things to do in life than watch sad antique programs hosted by crusty old prunes!