I am dressed in doll dresses by my owner. They are frilly. She even calls them “frocks”. I am then paraded, in my new attire, to the rest of her teddies and her best friends’ hoard of gossiping bears. Pink silk with periwinkles and white lace is not my glass of jelly baby tea, thank you very much, Madam-no-taste. With this offending attire, she adorns my left ear with a yellow bow with green spots. I want to wear combat trousers and crop tops with slogans for the attention of boy teddy bear. My owner doesn’t hear my rather feeble voice, and I doubt she would respect my choice of fashion as she is what the humans call a “Sloane Ranger” and wears silk-covered Alice bands and green wellies.
What am I to do, Bearsac?
Fluffy-Wuffy-Anna (please don’t laugh at my name).
Bearsac’s reply to problem 4
Dear Fluffy-Wuffy-Anna
Rip up your slone-rangers wardrobe, go on, rip it up! Be a bear devil, it’s good for you. Protest to your Slone Ranger, you can do it, even Slones get the message after a while. It may be hard to get her to accept your taste and to accept that you are a bear with her own mind and no longer in need of her, but this is for her good as much as it is for you.
I will contact the fashion editor in “Slone Bimonthly” magazine and try to convince her to dress the teddy bears used as props in clothes of your choosing. And you could spend a day at the studios and maybe even model yourself! How about it?
Alternatively, get your owner to take you to Build-a-Bear and demand they let you choose some clothes.